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Greg Maximov

Greg Maximov (Gregorius maximus) is a species scientists are still struggling to describe. Originally thought to be hominid (a member of the biological family Hominidae), recent discoveries, including the existence of a plate-like protrusion on the top and back of the head, have linked this species to the long-extinct dinosaur family Stegosauridae. Intrinsic to California, G. maximus originated in the hills of what is now called “Oakland.” After four years of seasonal migrations to Colorado Springs (more specifically Colorado College), G. maximus has most recently relocated to the Haight District of San Francisco. Contemporary studies have shown this creature to be an omnivore, taking full advantage of San Francisco’s veritable cornucopia of food options. This creature is a bit of a thrill seeker, and when it isn’t speeding through the streets on bicycle, it enjoys romps through Golden Gate Park, dressing up in costume, and engaging in spontaneous dance parties. One more quick note; while the head plate was originally thought to both serve as armor and aid in thermoregulation, it has more recently been shown to act as a form of camouflage, helping G. maximus blend into the San Francisco environment.

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