Personal Biography

When I was young I wanted to be Rambo. I wanted to run around without a shirt through the jungle with an AK-47 and a big ass knife shooting anything that moved. It didn't matter who the enemy was, I just needed something to point my gun at. I even told my parents that when I was fifty five I would change my name and they would have to start calling me Rambo, and at that time I would be able to stay up as late as I wanted and I would live in their living room with my wife who was yet to be determined. As time went on my goals didn't change that much, in place of Rambo I wanted to be Conan the Barbarian. Still a shirtless beast of a man, but this time I would have the half naked 'Red Sonya' at my side and a sword large enough to skewer a wild boar on.

Eventually, I realized that I would never physically become that big, and I had to move on to new things. Animals filled that space. It became my dream to work with rare and exotic animals that were never intended for public housing. Riding a giraffe was my newest obsession. Life would be okay if I could do that. That dream too was shattered upon the notion that not only did you have to like these animals, but you had to like them so much that you would dedicate all your time memorizing all of the muscle and skeletal structures and be able to know all of their common ailments along with how to fix them. I might have traveled down that path had I not learned that loving animals and wanting to fix them, doesn't pay most people enough to live the life of leisure outside of work too. Any hope of expensive useless gadgets, early retirement, and crazy trips to Las Vegas would have to be postponed or possibly not taken at all. That's what really mattered, that's what was important. Retirement and not working was a better goal than working for forever, so I decided that I did not love animals that much. Around this time it dawned on me that I might not be a very dedicated person... But, I still think that someday I may end up living in my parents living room, and my wife is still yet to be determined, so maybe I was still on track of my youngest dreams in life.

After animals I moved on to the next logical step that any person would take, robots. Similar to cute fuzzy animals, people like robots. Apparently people like robots a whole lot more than animals because people will pay a lot for them, whereas some animal shelters can't even give their animals away. And that's why I got into computers...

SUPERPOWER

I would want to have the power of
Schadenfreude. I really enjoy laughing at other peoples
expense.

WHERE YOU WASTE YOUR TIME

XKCD a webcomic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language
Uncrate.com a web magazine for guys who love stuff.

THINGS I'M OBSESSED WITH

Low-Brow/Pop Surrealism Art, shiny metal objects, robots.